GOALS

I love to accomplish things. Goals are so great. I recently was reading in my journal entries of the summer three years ago where I had written down some summer goals ( as i often do). As I read, I was happy to learn I really HAD achieved those goals, but I hadn't correlate the occurrence(s) as achievements of those goals just yet. I have found some other journal entries or goals written on scrap papers that have truly been accomplished, but i don't remember writing them down as goals beforehand. Apparently, setting those goals put things into my mind that drive me toward that goal subconsciously. So i eventually do get there, but when i accomplish it, i don't realize because that goal had become apart of me and accomplishing it was just a part of my life. Now, there have also been some goals that i did NOT accomplish, of course, but usually those are too high-reaching, unrealistic, unimportant, or stupid. I was uneasy about posting this blog at first because my goals are personal, because I think that's how they should be. But nobody reads my blog anyway. haha. And i'm only going to post some moderate, general goals (not my deep goals). And plus I have nothing better to do here at work for 10 strait hours...so why not? And i think the video is worth sharing (http://www.theendofovereatingbook.com/). So I totally like this video because its very smart and got me back to a conservative track, to not eat because food is YUMMY but because it is nutritious. Last night I had some s'more brownies that my roommate Heidi made which were delicious! Then I had some s'more this morning...And then stumbled upon this video somehow, Ironic. And i was reminded of how good I was a little while ago and I don't want to loose that lifestyle. To insight you, I was sick for two months strait: On Monday February 8th of this year (about 17 weeks ago) I became sicky! I had just returned from a trip to Cali for a good friend Shannon's wedding. During the trip, I did NOT eat very well--candies, traveling snack foods, chocolate, BJ's pazookie, I don't remember ever eating one vegetable or fruit except for maybe the vegetables that were in my burger at BJ's. On top of that, we went to bed pretty late every night and woke up early, equating to not much sleep.
AND previously , i'm not sure from what date to what date, but i had not been very healthy for quiet some time prior to the trip anyway!! I would have a dessert after practically every meal, whether it be breakfast dinner lunch or a snack (that sweetness of chocolate was just such a good finish to a meal). This, in case you were wondering, is not healthy. So after the Cali trip, my body was like ugh ugh...girl you are bad I aint gonna take this! So my body complained for the next two months strait. It was really quiet the toll on me. At first it was just a cold and I started to eat a little healthier as I usually do to stop a cold, and anytime I would eat sugar, my body would be raged at me and I would feel even sicker. So I tried to NOT eat sugar for a while. I had strait fruits and vegetables and pastas and potatoes and soups for a long time. But I was still sicky...bad. A cough like no other I had! My cold symptoms got better, but once they did, I all of a sudden had swollen lymph nodes underneath my chin and my gums were red and bleeding and it hurt to eat anything but yogurt. So I went to the health center again like a month later and they gave me another antibiotic but it was for gingivitis (i floss people, and brush my teeth but I believe this was gingivitis due to my weird body at the time not lack of hygiene). So the swollen lymph nodes went down, then the gingivitis went down in about 7 days. During the gingivitis I ate SO good! Because it hurt to eat anyway so i would hardly eat and when i did it was like a banana or yogurt or soft fruit or pasta. So by the gingivitis point, I had no desire to eat cakes, candy, ice cream, or any sugary dessert because I had been off of them for so long and my body was so sensitive to any ounce of sugar, that I could practically feel the negative impact of the sugar nearly instantly. So, I just stayed away for a while and that distance separated me from what was really an addiction to sugar. So the swollen lymph nodes and gingivitis went away but I still had a lingering cough that came back and stayed for about a month. So, with the strong encouragement of my roommates and my mom, I went back to the health center and got some more anti biotics for the cough. And it took i think two weeks for the cough to go away. I remember not being able to remember what it was like to NOT cough in life. But i sit here today with no cough and I am so glad. Its a miracle now that i think about it. It wasn't until mid April that I was completely back to health. And at the end of the process, I didn't eat sugar desserts or overeat as much. It was actually great. I felt great--I wasn't a slave to food or cookies. My tummy was a little flatter, I was more energetic and happier about myself. Mind you though, habits are hard to break, so I have been pretty darn good since then, but will have times of relapses where I eat ice cream or cookies or cake but his has been within the past couple of weeks at school where desserts are a part of social interaction, so I'm like...Ok i'll have cake. But i NEVER feel good afterward...so why do it? Also, we'll go to ice cream places at night for a friend outing, so i rationalize to have some, but its not like i REALLY ever wanted to consume ice cream. Ice cream used to be my favorite dessert but now i don't care for it. Also, I don't really care for cookies unless its no bake cookies (so good). So the more I have been allowing myself to have some sugar, the more body kind of desires to have it. Which is a part of a fact i realized through the past months: your body craves that which it is used to. SO if you allow yourself to eat sugar, next time your gonna want to eat more sugar and more and more until your body really craves it always. So I'm gonna try to remember that lesson. When I wasn't eating sugar I didn't crave it. I had to get over the craving I already made for myself, but luckily I had a sickness to help me do that. SO I'm trying to not let that eating lifestyle I had when I was sick get away from me!!! So that's one of my goals. haha. That was quiet the long explanation to one of my goals, but this is more just me writing my life thoughts and occurrences down. Also, the spirit helps me to overcome my appetite. Heavenly Father doesn't want me to be a glutton. So I did terrible this morning because I had oatmeal with brown sugar then s'more brownies and then graham crackers which did nothing good for my body or mind. Anywho, I doubt anyone will read this because it is so freaking long! And I myself always shy away from long writing. I'm more of a picture person. This post needs to end!